It's been a whirlwind few weeks, and probably months to be fair, but I've finally finished university - well I finished a few weeks ago and I've been trying to get back to normality. I managed to get a part time job and I know that, sooner or later, it'll dawn on me that I won't ever go back to university. I think the biggest thing for me is that I've pretty much spent all my life in education and it's been at the core of my life. As soon as I turned 3/4 I started primary school and then I was there until I went to high school where I spent 5 years until I went to college for two, which was then ended by 3 years at university - that's a long 18 years in some sort of education. It's crazy thinking about it now, that I was pretty much given a full blown schedule for most of my life and now I'm free...
I can't say how much I've enjoyed these last three years. Even though they've been some of the toughest, they've also been some of the most enjoyable! I've met some amazing people (I mean I couldn't have lasted the time without my housemate Eleanor and my friend Emma) and I've done some amazing things that I only could've done in London. We went ice-skating at the National History Museum, watched the Royal Wedding at the Maritime Museum, did work experience at Top of the Pops Magazine and watched so many West End shows. I've been able to learn more about periods of history that I love and I wrote a 10,000 word essay about the East German Stasi in film, television and literature through my own research - crazy isn't it? Probably the biggest thing is that I went outside my comfort zone, moved across the country and lived in the capital independently! I know I've grown so much in the last three years and, as sceptical as people were, moving to London was exactly what I needed and the right thing to do!
I can't say how much I've enjoyed these last three years. Even though they've been some of the toughest, they've also been some of the most enjoyable! I've met some amazing people (I mean I couldn't have lasted the time without my housemate Eleanor and my friend Emma) and I've done some amazing things that I only could've done in London. We went ice-skating at the National History Museum, watched the Royal Wedding at the Maritime Museum, did work experience at Top of the Pops Magazine and watched so many West End shows. I've been able to learn more about periods of history that I love and I wrote a 10,000 word essay about the East German Stasi in film, television and literature through my own research - crazy isn't it? Probably the biggest thing is that I went outside my comfort zone, moved across the country and lived in the capital independently! I know I've grown so much in the last three years and, as sceptical as people were, moving to London was exactly what I needed and the right thing to do!
However, what scares me the most and is probably making it harder to adapt back to normality. I have so much free time and really don't know what to do or what to think about. Of course I've got a part time job and now that my sister's home, we can probably do stuff during the day. But, it's still weird not having to think about if I have any work to do or if I need to do any background reading, I mean all I've got to worry about is results and I'm already terrified! I can do some writing like this or try and get more stories written but, with all the time I spent on my laptop during university, I feel like my head needs some space. How do I stop my mind going into overdrive with thoughts of failing and stuff if I don't have anything really to distract it with. I mean obviously I can apply for full time jobs in what I want to do, which is journalism but then I even find thinking about the future scary. I know what I'd like to do or where I want to be but how do I get there? What if, by the end of my professional career, I haven't been able to do what I set out too or I've been stuck in a job that I'm not passionate about.
Isn't it weird that you go through school and learn everything under the sun from how to solve a quadratic equation to being able to interpret the periodic table to the history of England. Yet, I don't think I know skills that will help me function as a *sigh* grown up. I'm not expecting to be spoon fed things but it's almost like I'm in denial that I'm going to have to go out, get a job, pay taxes etc. but I don't even know where to start. I know I could easily say I want to do an MA then a PhD to stop having to be a 'responsible' adult so quickly but all that's going to do is rack up more debt and waste time...
So, here's to the next few months and years and who knows what the future will hold!
So, here's to the next few months and years and who knows what the future will hold!
That's all for now my dears
xx
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